Is it time to reinvent yourself?

If you've been following my blog lately you'll know I've made some big, scary life changes and I must admit I'm having a slight identity crisis about who I am. 

Anyway, because of that I decided to begin working on an idea that I had a year ago. Have you ever had an idea that you really wanted to do, but were scared to do it in case other people didn't like it? What if people thought it was rubbish or corny? What if nobody came and nobody cared? 

13 years ago I was scared of living on a narrowboat. What if I was lonely? What if I didn't like it? And what if I loved it? 'What if?' has got a lot to answer for. 

So here's my idea.

Positive thinking must always be followed by positive action. I use visualisation, inspiring quotations, lyrics, music, poetry, written exercises and self-hypnosis to reinvent myself and make things happen.

I've started a new blog about that sort of thing. I've tried not to impose rules on myself about how often I will publish a post. I will just write when I've got something to say, something to share.  

Come on over and see what you think. If you like the idea there's an option to sign up and receive updates by email. I honestly don't know what's coming up next, but that's part of the fun. Isn't it?

When was the last time you reinvented yourself?

What happened to me living on a narrowboat? Find out here.

Happy Blogiversary to me!

It's three years ago this week that I first gingerly dipped my toe into the wonderful world of blogging. I didn't need a Facebook page and hadn't heard of Twitter. I was a shy and nervous new-comer and I was definitely, absolutely sure that nobody would particularly want to read a blog about me, and my life!

But because my friend said, "Hey, you should start a blog!" I started publishing excerpts from my travelling diary, while myself, my husband and our young family explored the waterways of London, Hertfordshire and Essex. As my confidence grew I made friends with other bloggers, went to blogging conferences for mummy bloggers, started a Facebook group for boat families, and also started my own business as a professional blogger! I even began to get articles published in magazines...

So, if YOU are out there thinking maybe, just maybe, you might start a blog one day.... just do it! Let me be that friend that says, "Hey, you should start a blog!" Because that little suggestion changed my life...

Here's the very first blog post that I wrote:

Angel, Islington to Uxbridge.

Space: The final frontier. With the arrival of the new baby we are testing the space limitations of a 57 foot narrowboat. These are the voyages of the narrowboat Grassington, a blue box that tardily travels through time and space, at a maximum speed of four miles per hour. Our mission; to travel the waterways we’ve never seen, to live the dream, to be boaters, travellers, writers and parents. For so long we’ve waited for the right time; to have enough money, or to discover the elusive way of earning a living while travelling.

But the absolutely right time never comes, sometimes you just have to do it anyway. We might not have the biggest, most comfortable boat we had dreamed of, or the huge stash of savings to make the life easy, or the dream job, that meets all our mental and spiritual needs. You know the one, the job that we can work at from home while earning a decent income, and still spend quality time together as a family. But with one of us on maternity leave and one of us working in London we decided to cast off and let go. The handsome doctor and his winsome assistant.

To quote Mark Twain, “In twenty years from now, you’ll be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowline. Sail away from the safe harbour. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Read more.

70ft narrowboat for sale: liveaboard

This boat has now been sold, but here are some more narrowboats for sale.

Our beautiful narrowboat Violet Mae is now for sale. Life has taken an unexpected turn and we are heading off on a different adventure.

This boat is everything I had dreamed of in a boat: light and airy, wooden floors, side hatches to feed the swans, a big double bedroom, a washing machine, and at the stern a beautifully painted boatman's cabin. More photos to follow.

If you are seriously considering living on a narrowboat this is a very comfortable live aboard. She is currently moored near Tring in Hertfordshire. She does not come with a mooring but if you act quickly there will be an opportunity to bid on her current residential mooring when it goes up for auction with the Canal and River Trust in August.

70ft Colecraft trad narrowboat liveaboard £37,500

Built: 1988

Engine: BMC 1800 (Rebuilt 2002)

Last survey: 05/09/08

4 berths: 1 double, 2 single.

Beautiful boatman’s cabin.

Contact Peggy

The full listing with LOTS of photos is on the Boatshed Grand Union website. Colecraft Narrowboat for sale.

PS. If you have any questions about living aboard download my free ebook: Living on a Boat.

What is the cost of living on a narrowboat? Check out my review of the Narrowbudget software.

West country canals – a forgotten dream?

I grew up in Devon but by the time I lived there, there wasn’t much in the way of navigable canals left. I remember going on a school trip to see Cann Quarry Canal, a two mile waterway that connected with the Plymouth and Dartmoor Railway. I think it was only working for ten years. There’s a little five mile long canal in Exeter from Exeter Canal Basin to the River Exe estuary. There’s also a little canal near Tiverton which I think runs a horse drawn boat trip. There are several more abandoned canals around Devon but they have long since fallen into disrepair. So it wasn’t until I grew up and boldly went to seek my fortune in London that I really began to discover the thriving canal network that is still navigable for 2000 miles across the UK.

I lived in a flat in Kentish Town near Camden and watched with fascination the painted boats that would pass through Camden lock. The romantic gypsy in me began to realise, some people actually live on these boats! A seed was sown, and I have since become someone who lives on a narrowboat, and has travelled the canals of London and Hertfordshire.

I can never take my boat on the long forgotten canals of Devon where I grew up; the short canals that remain are not connected to the main system. By default then, I have always thought that the way to connect my boating life with my West Country roots would be to travel west as far as I can by canal. This is why the Kennet and Avon canal has become the journey that I have yet to do.

Having spent my adult years building a career, and then a family, in and around London, do I still hear the call of the West Country? Do I see a white horse carved into a Wiltshire hillside in my dreams? Or a famous flight of 29 locks at Caen Hill near Devizes?

This is the boating journey that I never got to do. Now that I am settled on a residential mooring near a good school my cruise down the Kennet and Avon must be done as a holiday trip someday. (If you are single or a couple, it is cheaper to go by hotel boat than to hire a boat.) I’ve seen the charming historic buildings of Bradford on Avon and the Georgian architecture of Bath on weekend visits before, but that is fleetingly, by car.

Exploring by narrowboat is a slower pace of life, more connected with nature. In a city we are surrounded by man-made creations. But travelling through England’s countryside on the water I feel more connected with real life.

“What is this life if, full of care,
 We have no time to stand and stare.”
(From the poem ‘Leisure’ by William Henry Davies.)

So one day, I will let the Kennet and Avon take me slowly back west. Where will it take you? Read more about the highlights of the Kennet and Avon on the Devizes to Newbury cruise or the Bath to Devizes via Bristol journey. Or read more about why Devizes is high on my list of places to visit by boat.

Disclosure: I was paid to write this post on the Canal Voyagers blog. I re-published it here because it tells a little about me, my narrowboat life and my dreams.

Canal Voyagers are currently offering a £50 discount on the first 12 cruises of the year.

Any regrets?

Ideas from Bronnie Ware's Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Bronnie Ware’s article The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying is a frequently re-blogged and re-read article about the life-changing concepts that she learned in her work in palliative care.

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed by how complicated life seems I look at her list of the five simple things that are important in life and it helps me to see things more clearly. I have decided to use these ideas to create an action plan for change.

Many people wished they had been more true to themselves and honoured their dreams. For me personally this means writing a book. I have always said I ‘should’ write a book and that if I died without writing and publishing a book it would be one of my big regrets. I have a half-written book that I don’t make time to work on. I’ve realised that to be true to myself I need to prioritise this.

The second regret on the list is that people worked too hard and missed the important things in life, like spending time with their children. As I juggle running a business around a young family I know that I am guilty of this and realise I need to simplify my lifestyle and create some passive income streams.

The third regret is that people wish they had expressed their feelings. Bronnie says honesty makes a relationship healthier, or releases unhealthy relationships from your life. My resolution related to this is that I will be braver!

The fourth regret is losing touch with friends. Bronnie says in the final weeks love and relationships are all that matters. I think I’m pretty good at staying in touch with friends but sometimes I wish I had the energy and determination to take the kids on long train journeys to visit some of my best friends.

The final regret is simply, ‘I wish that I had let myself be happier.’ It’s easy to pretend that we are not in control of our own lives. My action plan for this one is to release old habits, embrace change, be brave and smile.

I summarised what I’ve learned from this in a daily ‘To Do’ list, (pictured) and I think if I lived each day with these rules I would teach my children to live a life with less regrets.

So if you were aiming for no regrets what would you put in your action plan?

The Timber Tradition

"There is something about boats that have history, individuality and have been worked by the hands of different people over many decades."

Last year I visited Bates Boatyard traditional sideslip and dry dock facilities and spoke to Jem Bates about the unique services his company provides. It was a fascinating interview and I could have written a book about him and his work, but I managed to condense it into this little article for Waterways World.

Grab yourself the March issue for only £3.75 and find out why people are attracted to wooden boats, how can you restore a vessel that is over 100 years old, and is Jem the only person doing this work on the inland waterways? Do you love traditional boats? Would you take on a wooden restoration project?

You may also like: How to become a freelance writer in 24 hours

What's your dream? Would you like to live on a narrowboat or become a freelance writer? Sign up to my newsletter and I'll let you know when my eCourse about following dreams is ready to go! (Choose html to get the nice version with pictures!)

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@BritMums Carnival goes watery and dreamy!

Take time to dream.

Welcome to the BritMums blog carnival: a collection of writing from other bloggers, loosely based around the theme of boats and water, or following dreams, because that's what my blog is about.  The idea is to grab a coffee and begin to read, drifting from blog to blog discovering new voices, ideas and dreams. If you read something you like, leave a comment and spread a little sunshine around the Internet today.

Maggy from Red Ted Art has written a post about making paper boats: Such a lovely idea, I think I would enjoy it as much as the kids. My five year old daughter suggested we write a message on one and send it out to sea, like a message in a bottle.  How to make a paper boat.

On her other site, also fitting in with my carnival theme is her Life of Pi review

Catherine writes picture book recommendations for little people near and far at Storysnug.com and recommends this pirate book. The Pirates Next Door. Matilda’s life in Dull-on-Sea is made much more exciting when The Jolley-Rogers move in next door while their pirate ship is being repaired!

And Jenny at The Gingerbread House has got a great craft idea for Valentines Day; Valentine Sun Catchers, and at her family blog Treading on Lego, she describes how to make a hand print Easter lamb.

Sarah at Mum of Three World took her family on a canal boat holiday, and enjoyed getting grubby and wearing a badge saying 'Lock Labourer'! She even found that boating made her talk to her husband more than she does in 'real life'. A lovely, funny post: Canal Boat Tales.

Sarah at Crewcutandnewt.com is a north Wiltshire mum drowning, or waving, she still hasn't found what she's looking for. She's written a heart-felt post of her family's search for a dream home near water, with countryside views, and stumbles across the history of an old lock keepers cottage. Beautiful writing.

And finally, the most watery, dreamy, canal-themed post of all from Alice, writer, traveller, dreamer and boater who blogs at Writings From the Wherever. In A Travelling Heart she asks herself 'What does travel mean to you?' She's also included a beautiful video in her post, of narrowboat travelling. 

Thanks to the lovely bloggers who have joined in today. It's been an evocative, watery journey visiting your writings! xx

Coming Soon: Free eCourse for you!

I’ve created a short personal development e-course based on tuning in to your desires and wishes. Before I had children I was a clinical hypnotherapist so I have a background in using the power of the subconscious mind to achieve goals. The course will either be free or very low cost.

If you'd like me to let you know when the course is open for sign-up then join my list to receive the monthly newsletter. You will also receive the free eBook Narrowboat Families as a thank you for joining. 

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Join the @BritMums Carnival!

Follow your dreams

On 12th February the BritMums Blog Carnival is coming over to my place! Every two weeks a different parent blogger "hosts" the carnival. Bloggers submit posts from the past month. I thought I'd do a loose theme of canals, boats and water, and/or following dreams, because that's what my blog is about. But if you don't have anything that fits that then send whatever you like. (But you do have a dream to follow don't you...?) :-)

All the rules are here The BritMums Carnival.

Please send me,
1) Your name
2) The name of your blog
3) The url of your chosen post

Before Sunday 10th February. Contact Peggy.

Thank you! 

Peggy
xx

It’s not all roses n castles

Rather than acknowledging that mothering on a boat is a difficult choice, and therefore that it makes me quite a good mother, I seem to default to beating myself up about not being good enough. It’s almost as if being ‘The Narrowboat Wife’ has become my whole identity. It makes me interesting in social company, and it’s given me a writing niche on the Internet that I have turned into a career.

However, I am beginning to think living in a house would be easier, and if I’m honest with myself, if I won the lottery right now I might buy a house, rather than a better boat. After all, I can always return to boating when my kids are older.

Since I was little I dreamed of living a romantic gypsy lifestyle. I have a good friend who tells it like it is so I asked for her ‘no nonsense’ style of advice. She said,

“Please don’t feel that you are failing your dream by moving on to the next stage in your life.”

That was really helpful for me. I think that is how I have been feeling.

She pointed out that the ‘periphery crap’ like trying to make sure there is heating and running water, or simply getting rid of rubbish and recycling by walking to disposal points on foot; these things all take time: Time that I could spend enjoying my children or running my business.

I love my boat. I love the canals. I love the little roses and castles in the girls’ bedroom and the swans visiting the side hatch in summer. Most of all I love that I own my home and no one can take that away from me. To live in a house we would have to rent one.

“But there’s no reason why the girls’ bedroom couldn’t have roses and castles in it,” said my friend.

"Rapunzel began to worry. If her dream finally came true - then what would happen?
Flynn knew just what to say. "Well, that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream."

How to be happy

Goal setting: life planning. Does it work?

I was going to write something about my goals and dreams because it’s a New Year. I worked through a great workbook from Elinor Wilde theWorking Mums Coach, about how to find the pause button, because there never seems to be enough time in my life. I also enjoyed an hour alone with a glass of wine and the Unravelling Workbook from Susanna Conway. I thought I needed to redefine my dreams and work out another action plan towards my goals. I thought I wasn’t doing well enough in my business and that I could rearrange things so that I was working more efficiently and providing a better service. I’ve become attracted to goal setting and affirmations and vision boards and training for entrepreneurs and mumpreneurs. But is that really who I am?

I want to be happy, but I am never truly happy these days. I am always planning something, goal setting or analysing something.  

I feel I should be writing about narrowboat life; how hard it’s been in the snow. How the diesel stove packed up this week and my husband spent hours taking it apart and chipping coke from the insides. How I took the boat to the water point yesterday, reversing through frozen plates of floating ice, only to find the tap is still frozen.

I could describe the relief and happiness I felt when we bought a small portable butane heater; or the tears I cried at 5.30am on the front deck last week. I was up early to go to the Boatshed conference in London when the propane ran out. While my family slept I used a mallet to free the gas spanner from the frozen front deck. I tried and failed to change the gas bottle and crouched in the soft, silent snow on the front deck in the deep, icy, darkness crying real hot tears. I just wanted my family to be warm when they woke up, and for my husband to be able to easily make a cup of tea. I was not sure that boat life is still for me.

I moved onto a boat in my late twenties when life was an adventure lived mostly in pubs, and no children depended on me.

I feel I ‘should’  be writing about narrowboat life on this blog, but I want to write about my own life; about my choices and trials and tribulations: And the elusive search for happiness.

For some reason, turning 40 recently has made me feel like very soon, I am going to figure everything out! When I do, I will let you know the answers. 

When Wishes Come True

On 31st August 2010 I wished for nine simple things, that I wanted to bring into my life.

   

• Friends

• Neighbours

• A community

• A washing machine

• More storage space

• Enough electric to run a hoover

• Our own bedroom

• A place to write, (doesn’t have to be a room, just a cute writing desk or a bureau would be nice).

• I also still want an amazing view, like a field, or the sea.

Do you know what? They have all come true. It’s the power of the mind that manifests my reality. First wish (think), then do. Now I have a new wish list.

To finish writing my book.

To have my book published.

To be earning more than enough money, so we don’t have to worry anymore.

To pass my driving test.

To have regular time to be alone reading or writing for fun.

To drink less alcohol.

To have a cute writing desk or a bureau in my bedroom. 

I can't complain about not having a cool place to write though. You will see from the picture that our dining table where I write is very nice. But if the kids are home and there's stuff going on in the living room then imagine having the luxury of a second office, in the corner of my bedroom!

Come back and visit this  blog in two years and I'll tell you if I've ticked these wishes off the new list.

Introducing The Little Wish Friends

A bedroom with flowers and castles.

My daughter has little wish friends; lots of them. One is bigger than the sun. One is smaller than a threadworm egg. They sleep beside her in bed and she says they help her to be a good girl.

“One of my little wish friends is called Alfie, and he knows everything in the whole world so he is even more gooder than  me.”

New wish friends are introduced all the time. There is an invisible dog called Frank and he is on a very long lead. She also has an invisible cat called Safety Cat, who can go in the canal and swim underwater.

“I wish I had an invisible cat.”

“You can share mine,” she said.

One evening, after her bedtime story I said,

“I’ll leave the fairy lights on so the fairies can see their way in here.”

My daughter gasped and looked over my shoulder.

“Here they come now! Some of my little wish friends are a family of fairies. The little boy is called Frankie, the little girl is called Poppy, the mum is called Pippa and the dad is called Joshua.”

“Oh! I thought the fairies didn’t come until after you were asleep.”

“No, they come before I am asleep so they can look after me.”

The next morning I asked her if her little wish friends had looked after her that night.

“Yes, my little wish friends do two things. They look after me, and they also make my wishes come true.”

“What do you wish for?”

“Well, I wished for a bedroom like mine with flowers and castles, and I wished for a lovely mum like you and a lovely dad like Daddy and all of my wishes came true!”

“Can I have some little wish friends?”

“No. They are just for four year olds.”

“Where did you get them?”

“In a charity shop.” She pauses, and then whispers, “Can I tell you a secret? They are just pretend. If you dream them tonight then tomorrow you will have little wish friends. 

What would you wish for?

What have I been up to?

That's a good question. I keep forgetting to write about my Real Life on the blog.

We are on the move again and have just moored up near a station yesterday which is leafy and lovely. Also good for The Doctor to commute to London. We've got a bike trailer last week which I've started to use to take the girls to nursery: "Faster mummy, faster!" It's great on the roads but hard going in the squelchy mud on the towpath.

I'm still learning to drive once a week, and am about to begin the dull activity of learning for my theory test. A while ago I made a Pinterest board I will pass my driving test. In the last week I have managed to do my years accounts, and start my tax return. I have finally come off the antidepressants which was really tough as I went through some depressing withdrawal symptoms, (depression, paranoia, despair, anger, teethgrinding, anxiety dreams, and disassociation) yaay! It's been 20 days since my last pill and I'm starting to feel happier.

I keep making notes to create my first e-course which is about making a wish, putting it out there in the universe and seeing what happens. At the weekend we went to a four year old's birthday party on a farm; took a trip to the boatyard, emptied the toilet tank and filled up the water tank. Our friends came for the boat journey and I drank lots of wine and our four kids ran up and down the boat having a great time!

So, I'm doing ok with focussing on my goals as all of the above helps me aim towards This Years Dreams.  I have worked towards; increasing brand awareness and sales for my clients using social media, passing my driving test, blogging, having fun with the kids, cleaned out the kitchen cupboards and spent time with friends.

What about you? Can you condense everything you've done this week into a few words?!

Narrowboat For Sale

If you are dreaming of a life less ordinary, living afloat, my friend has decided to sell her current boat; a 61 foot narrowboat. It has one fixed double and a single berth. If you like the look of her living room (pictured) then contact her by email alice (at) alicegriffin.co.uk for more information. 

Don't dream it, be it! ;-)

Update: This boat has now sold. Find narrowboats for sale at Boatshed Grand Union.

20 Minutes to Change Your Life

At the beginning of April I read about this lovely idea on The Alexander Residence blog. You set a timer for 20 minutes and write down 100 things you want to do, be achieve, feel, places to go, people to see and more… Read how to do it here:  20 Minutes to ChangeYour Life. It only takes a minute to read.

Random acts of kindness were one of Penny’s goals.

“And sharing the good stuff…hope someone else finds this as helpful as I did.”

I commented on her post, I am definitely gonna do this! And then didn’t get around to it. Then I got an email yesterday saying someone else had commented on her post and it reminded me. I found I had twenty minutes to spare and let myself write in a stream of consciousness sort of way.

The first thing I wrote was, Write a book, write lots of books. Drive. Pass test. Then there was a list of friends and family to visit. More writing ideas. Be myself. Feel content. Stop being afraid or anxious. Go to Italy again: India again. Visit Dad in Capetown. Be myself (came up twice!) Paint apicture. Go away for a weekend with my best friend. Take up yoga. Cook family meals. Have more time! Be less complicated, more simple, relaxed and beautiful. Simplicity. Stare out to sea more often. Be quiet in nature. Go quietly to the woods. Draw pictures. Paint watercolours outside with my children… it goes on.

Although I’d already made my Best Year Yet Plan  I loved this because it was so quick. It reiterated to me some of the things that are most important to my inner self, when the chaos of daily life stops clouding my dreams.

So just do it! 20 minutes; have a go. It was fun!

Big thanks to Penny for sharing. Pass it on.

Be Your Own Wish Friend.

Image credit: Paul Appleton

My four year old daughter has little wish friends: They make her wishes come true. There are at least sixteen of them, and more appear all the time. One is “bigger than the sun” and one is “smaller than a thread worm egg”.

Last week I decided to become my own little wish friend and make my wishes come true. I got a book from the library that claimed if I spent three hours answering ten key questions I could create a plan for my best year yet.  I’d say it took me more like three evenings, but that could be because I’m very wordy and wrote a lot when I was creating my master plan. (I also drank a little bit of red wine while I was making it.)  If you were reading in January you may notice that this completely contradicts my earlier post: the best goal is no goal.

2012

BEST YEAR YET PLAN

Top Ten Goals

F

Finish writing book and synopsis. Find agent and publisher.

Have one article a week published by the end of the year.

Increase brand awareness and sales for my clients using social media.

Pass my driving test.

Improve relationship, feel closer together.

Create regular ‘me’ time for reading and blogging.

Make time to have fun with my daughters.

Take more care of my health.

Keep the boat tidier and cleaner.

Show my best friends and family that I care.

The back cover says, “You have a career that’s tailor made for you, your relationships are happy, your finances are under control and you have enough time to do the things you love.”

Can a book do all this for me? Can I do it for myself? Do I need to recruit some more little wish friends? Stay tuned and watch me have my Best Year Yet!

If you had just one wish for your best year yet what would it be?