Join the @BritMums Carnival!

Follow your dreams

On 12th February the BritMums Blog Carnival is coming over to my place! Every two weeks a different parent blogger "hosts" the carnival. Bloggers submit posts from the past month. I thought I'd do a loose theme of canals, boats and water, and/or following dreams, because that's what my blog is about. But if you don't have anything that fits that then send whatever you like. (But you do have a dream to follow don't you...?) :-)

All the rules are here The BritMums Carnival.

Please send me,
1) Your name
2) The name of your blog
3) The url of your chosen post

Before Sunday 10th February. Contact Peggy.

Thank you! 

Peggy
xx

It’s not all roses n castles

Rather than acknowledging that mothering on a boat is a difficult choice, and therefore that it makes me quite a good mother, I seem to default to beating myself up about not being good enough. It’s almost as if being ‘The Narrowboat Wife’ has become my whole identity. It makes me interesting in social company, and it’s given me a writing niche on the Internet that I have turned into a career.

However, I am beginning to think living in a house would be easier, and if I’m honest with myself, if I won the lottery right now I might buy a house, rather than a better boat. After all, I can always return to boating when my kids are older.

Since I was little I dreamed of living a romantic gypsy lifestyle. I have a good friend who tells it like it is so I asked for her ‘no nonsense’ style of advice. She said,

“Please don’t feel that you are failing your dream by moving on to the next stage in your life.”

That was really helpful for me. I think that is how I have been feeling.

She pointed out that the ‘periphery crap’ like trying to make sure there is heating and running water, or simply getting rid of rubbish and recycling by walking to disposal points on foot; these things all take time: Time that I could spend enjoying my children or running my business.

I love my boat. I love the canals. I love the little roses and castles in the girls’ bedroom and the swans visiting the side hatch in summer. Most of all I love that I own my home and no one can take that away from me. To live in a house we would have to rent one.

“But there’s no reason why the girls’ bedroom couldn’t have roses and castles in it,” said my friend.

"Rapunzel began to worry. If her dream finally came true - then what would happen?
Flynn knew just what to say. "Well, that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream."

How to be happy

Goal setting: life planning. Does it work?

I was going to write something about my goals and dreams because it’s a New Year. I worked through a great workbook from Elinor Wilde theWorking Mums Coach, about how to find the pause button, because there never seems to be enough time in my life. I also enjoyed an hour alone with a glass of wine and the Unravelling Workbook from Susanna Conway. I thought I needed to redefine my dreams and work out another action plan towards my goals. I thought I wasn’t doing well enough in my business and that I could rearrange things so that I was working more efficiently and providing a better service. I’ve become attracted to goal setting and affirmations and vision boards and training for entrepreneurs and mumpreneurs. But is that really who I am?

I want to be happy, but I am never truly happy these days. I am always planning something, goal setting or analysing something.  

I feel I should be writing about narrowboat life; how hard it’s been in the snow. How the diesel stove packed up this week and my husband spent hours taking it apart and chipping coke from the insides. How I took the boat to the water point yesterday, reversing through frozen plates of floating ice, only to find the tap is still frozen.

I could describe the relief and happiness I felt when we bought a small portable butane heater; or the tears I cried at 5.30am on the front deck last week. I was up early to go to the Boatshed conference in London when the propane ran out. While my family slept I used a mallet to free the gas spanner from the frozen front deck. I tried and failed to change the gas bottle and crouched in the soft, silent snow on the front deck in the deep, icy, darkness crying real hot tears. I just wanted my family to be warm when they woke up, and for my husband to be able to easily make a cup of tea. I was not sure that boat life is still for me.

I moved onto a boat in my late twenties when life was an adventure lived mostly in pubs, and no children depended on me.

I feel I ‘should’  be writing about narrowboat life on this blog, but I want to write about my own life; about my choices and trials and tribulations: And the elusive search for happiness.

For some reason, turning 40 recently has made me feel like very soon, I am going to figure everything out! When I do, I will let you know the answers. 

Happy birthday: No running water

Narrowboat Christmas

Despite living on a boat for more than twelve years this was our first Christmas aboard; and very relaxed it was too. Father Christmas made it down the flue pipe of the diesel stove somehow, ate his mince pie and took the reindeer food we left for Rudolph. Top requests on the letters to Santa had been a balaclava for Big Sister and a chocolate cake for Little Sister. Santa delivered these and many more gifts besides. What lovely simple requests from ones so young, before they are old enough to request computer game consuls or whatever the kids are into these days. I know I sound old but I did turn 40 on Boxing Day! (Gasp!)

I got everything I wished for on my birthday and after the kids were in bed we chilled out and watched some Christmas TV with The Doctor’s parents. My mother-in-law kindly did the dishes for us but then later on went to use the bathroom. She claimed there was now no running water. No doubt another case of ‘house people’ not understanding how our boat works, I thought to myself, judgementally.

It turns out that she was right, there was indeed no running water. The next day The Doctor dismantled the access hatch and tested various bits and bobs to try to isolate the problem. Do we need a new water pump? Where in the circuit has it all gone wrong? Could this be expensive? We don’t want to disturb our marine engineer’s Christmas holiday so we leave it a few days before texting him, and survive on bottled water and washing dishes with a supply from the aquaroll. It’s a pain but we’re used to this sort of thing by now.

However, after a week of no running water we’re kind of desperate for a bath! So on New Years Day we treated ourselves to a night in the local Travelodge, (£15 for a family room!) I absolutely love sinking into a deep hot bath; we only have a shower on the boat.

The next day, we took the girls to the zoo and the marine engineer let himself into our boat with a set of spare keys. It did not take long to isolate the problem and he phoned straight away to let us know.

“There is a switch above the kitchen sink that was turned off. It turns off the water. I’ve turned it on again now.”

A little embarrassed, The Doctor asks how much we owe him for his time, and the engineer laughs and says not to worry about it.

A week without running water because a switch that we never use had been flicked off! Could my mother-in-law have done it accidentally when washing the dishes? Or was it one of the children? There are plenty of redundant light switches in our boat, as when the previous owner installed new systems he left the old ones in place. There are always a few switches and things about that we don’t know what they do: we just ignore them.

But how the friends and family of the marine engineer will laugh when he tells them the story of the family who didn’t know about their own ‘water off’ switch. 

Christmas morning.

12 Days of Waterways #Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me,

“The generator won’t start.”

On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me,

“The engine has broken down.”

On the third day of Christmas the marine engineer said to me,

“I’ve got a bloke who can rebuild that injector pump but it will take him a few days.”

On the fourth day of Christmas we borrowed the neighbour’s generator to top up the batteries. On the fifth day I worked on my computer at my friend’s house because we didn’t have much electric left. Did I mention the invertor had broken again too?

On the sixth day I said to my two loves, my children,

“You cannot watch TV because there is not enough electric, but we can light candles.”

They are loving the candles and find them very exciting – like a birthday cake.

By the seventh day of Christmas we were very low on water and the engine was fixed. But we could not move the boat to the water point because the canal had frozen. The marine engineer dropped round with his invoice and we had a chat about living in houses and what you may or may not miss about living on the Cut. He and his family lived on a boat for about 12 years but they live in a house now.

On the eighth day of Christmas I pulled the aquaroll down the towpath to the tap to fill with water. There was frost on the ground and a gentle mist on the canal; it looked like a beautiful Christmas card. Beside the old arched bridge while the ducks walked on ice I found that the tap and pipes at the water point were frozen. We will have no running water today. I took the empty aquaroll back home.

On the ninth day of Christmas I went to my eldest daughter’s nativity play in the local church. On the way to church she asked me,

“Mummy, have you ever lived in a house?”

“Yes darling, when I was younger. And when I was a little girl I lived in a house with Grandma and Grandad.”

The play was called The Very Hopeless Camel. It’s her very first nativity and my daughter looked cute. She sang very well and was dressed as a sheep. My husband went to the supermarket while I moved the boat a few hundred metres to the water point. This is usually not difficult but I have never tried ice-breaking backwards before. Cruising through a partly frozen canal is sometimes necessary if you are out of water, and the ice can be broken with the bow. But without a nearby turning point the best way for us to get to the water point is to reverse there. Even though it is difficult to steer a narrowboat backwards, I must try not to hit any of my neighbour’s boats. Breaking large sheets of ice really slowed me down. But I was relieved that when I finally moored up the tap has defrosted and water ran freely!

I filled the tank and my husband came back from the supermarket and emptied the sewage out of the toilet tank with a hand pump: It’s not all roses and castles – as they say.

We then forged forwards through the ice, moored up, had a sandwich and were out again in time to get to our youngest daughter’s Pre-School Christmas concert. She didn’t want to wear her angel costume and was too shy to sing but at least we made it there on time.

Tomorrow is the tenth day of Christmas and I will be writing my Christmas list:

One new invertor, one back-up generator, a larger water tank and plenty of cash to spend on the marine engineer.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my best friend shared with me:

Hot running water, 240 volt electric, several rooms with carpets, prosecco and dinner, and a house to spend the weekend in. We’re celebrating her birthday and my birthday in her new house.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love said to me;

“Do you think you would like to live in a house instead of a boat?”

And I said, to the glittering canal that was my first true love, to the waterways of England that have carried me for years, and to the swans at the side hatch and the ducks at the door;

“My darling English waterways, I have loved you all these years, but sometimes I do have my doubts about us living together.”

Last posting date for the Theakletuffin thing!

Just a reminder that today is the last posting date for print orders of The Theakletuffin Book before Christmas. So if you know a small child or a big kid that would like an unusual gift this year surprise them with this lovely coffee table book. The Theakletuffin Poem. (There's a video now as well.)
PS This is the last Christmas/Book promo you will see on this blog this year. Normal Narrowboat Wife service will resume next week. I am just so excited that I finally created my picture book! :-)

Books: The Perfect Christmas Gift

At Christmas you should receive something you want, something you need, something to eat and something to read. 

My friends at Ace Inspire have something to read covered: A special Christmas Business and Blogging Bundle for you. Get Blogging: The Essential Guide, Making Money Online and Marketing: The Essential Guide for £24 that’s a saving of £8.87!
They also have:
Commercial Writing: How to earn a living as a business writer £12.99
A Guide to Promoting Your Business (£15)
Plus a selection of ebooks ideal for those with eReaders.
The perfect gifts for business owners small or large.

Their last postal date is tomorrow 12th December so be quick!

Disclosure: I work for Ace Inspire writing the blog Become a Mumpreneur. It was my choice to share their Christmas offer on this blog, I was not paid for this post. But I do like their books - especially anything about blogging!