Sunday 9 January 2011

Reggie Perrin

6th November.

This morning after taking the kids to a Fairies and Pirates themed birthday party near Finsbury Park I am exhausted. I returned home, left the children with The Doctor, and went in to the girls’ bedroom to try to have an afternoon nap. I never nap in the daytime, I never have time, but I recognised the signs in myself, the feeling that I’m going to bite someone’s head off or burst into tears. I lay on the bed and stared at the pine tongue and groove ceiling; too tired to sleep, too tired to cry. It is a very dark moment. I consider doing a Reggie Perrin, disappearing and walking away. Yesterday I went to visit an old friend, Rock Chick Mum. She said,
“You’ve lost weight, you look ill. Go to the doctor.” The Bride told me this weeks ago. I ignored her. My mum, my mother in law and The Fairytale Princess noticed it too. Years ago, when I was at Hogwarts, studying hypnosis, we learned that if you hear something once you may ignore it. The second time you hear it you may think twice about it, huh, muses your brain, I’ve heard that before! If you hear a piece of information three times, your subconscious is more likely to accept that it is true. You are underweight. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor.

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